


Nothing Against It (Just Never Again)

by kitkat0723



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck and Eddie Communicate, Date Night, M/M, Marriage Discussion, Mature discussions, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, it's a miracle, talks of past relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 15:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30141567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkat0723/pseuds/kitkat0723
Summary: Eddie and Buck discuss their future and the truth comes to light.OrThe one where Eddie and Buck communicate
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 88





	Nothing Against It (Just Never Again)

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy.

Eddie wipes his hands on his jeans as he waits for Buck to show up. He’s pretty sure everything is going to work itself out. Buck and him have been together for six months and he’s pretty sure they’re headed towards living together since Buck’s at Eddie’s place more often than he’s not. Most of his clothes have migrated to Eddie’s dresser, and most of his cooking pots and pans are on Eddie’s stove that no longer gathers dust. But the conversation they need to have is big, it’s messy. He’s so afraid of screwing it up. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with Buck he absolutely does. But, sometimes two people in a relationship want and need different things. Eddie’s happy, finally, for once. And he doesn’t want to change that. Except he needs Buck to know how he's feeling.    
Checking his watch, he notes the time, realizes he may have been a little early, but since Abuela had basically shoved him out of his door so she could have time with Christopher, it’s not a wonder. When Buck walks in, he’s the only one Eddie sees. The swoop in his stomach should feel familiar, but it gets him every time. When Buck smiles in his direction, he feels his heart skip a beat. It never fails to amaze him that someone could look at him like that and mean it. That they’re happy Eddie is around, here, alive. But Buck always looks at him like that and it never fails to put him on top of the world.    
Eddie stands as Buck approaches and when the younger man’s lips land on his for a quick hello, Eddie holds on for a second longer, enjoying the feeling of having Buck in his arms. Letting his boyfriend go, they sit. Buck reaches for his hand and Eddie gives him one.    
“How’s Maddie doing?” Buck’s sister called him earlier that morning, panicking about something Eddie couldn’t make out in the early morning grogginess.    
Buck smiles and brings their joined hands to his lips. “She’s fine, so is Anabeth. Just a bit of indigestion. Maddie figured it out, eventually. She’s just a new mom so she’s worried. I was just there for moral support, and got time with my favorite girls.”    
Eddie smiles. He knows how spending time with your favorite people makes you feel. “Good. I’m glad. We missed you today. But, Chris cleaned his room, I did a few chores. And then when I went to drop him off at Abuela’s, she kicked me out.” Buck laughs and Eddie relishes the feeling it gives him.    
They talk about their time apart, about Christopher, and their shared found family. About themselves. Eddie hopes they never run out of things to talk about. They’re best friends, sure, but there are still things they don’t know about each other. Demons buried deep neither want to let out of their cages to mingle with the human populace lest they be scared forever like the pair of them. They’re learning to grow together and as individuals. They talk about their friendships and if Buck is going to stay over so they can head into work together for their shift the next day.    
When the waiter steps up to their table, the pair of them order and continue on with the conversation. It’s easier and lighter. Eddie wants to enjoy this, doesn’t want the heavy conversation to be between them yet. Discussing the weekend they decide to take a drive, wind up wherever. Buck’s already borrowed Bobby’s big cooler so they don’t have to buy one. Eddie relishes in moments like this. How  _ together _ they are. Two years ago if someone told him he’d be doing this, in a new relationship, discussing weekend plans for a drive Eddie would have told them they were crazy. And yet, here he was.    
They make it to dessert, and Eddie still hasn’t brought up what he wants to discuss, knows what they need to discuss. The mood is too good.    
Buck smiles at him, hands wrapped around a cup of espresso that paired perfectly with the tiramisu they shared. “What?” Eddie asks him, sipping from his own cup.    
Buck gives a small shrug. “Nothing, really. This is just nice. The whole night has been. Thank you.”    
Eddie nods smiles a little. “We deserve nice things sometimes, and I know date night isn’t always exactly date night.”    
Buck sets his cup down, reaches out, placing a hand on Eddie’s arm. “Whenever I get time with you, I enjoy it. You’re important and deserve nice things too. We don’t always have to do things for my benefit. You’re allowed a break. Christopher is an angel, yes, but he’s still a kid. You’re still a parent. And parents are entitled to a break too.”    
Eddie can’t help the way his throat closes up, the way everything in his brain shuts down. No one has known him the way that Buck does. No one has  _ seen _ him the way his partner does. Looking up from his cup, he smiles at Buck, taking in his features. “I love you.”    
Buck’s smile graces his face again, wide and joyful. “I love you too. You know that.”    
Eddie takes a deep breath, this is the opening he needs. He doesn’t want to kill the light and happy mood, but they have to talk about  _ it. _ “I know you do. Which is why I wanted us to be alone tonight. We have to talk about something and I don’t know how you’ll feel one way or the other.”    
He shuts his mouth, needs to stop the words from spilling from his lips before everything is ruined and his life is shattered. When the hand lands on his arm, he takes a deep breath, looks up into Buck’s stunning blue eyes. “Whatever it is, we can work through it. I promise. I’m not going anywhere. You and Christopher, you’re it for me.”    
Eddie takes another breath, knows whatever is discussed between them tonight will work itself out. “Should we talk here or at home?”    
“We could do it at home. I think you’d feel better, anyway.” God, how this man knows him will never not be a wonder to Eddie.    
“Yeah, okay.”    
They finish up dinner then, Hold hands and steal glances at one another while they wait for Eddie’s credit card to be returned. Once they’re outside, Buck has to head in the opposite direction for his jeep.    
“Meet you at home?”    
Buck nods. “Yep.”    
They kiss goodbye and Eddie heads for his truck, left alone with his thoughts for company for the next thirty minutes.   
*   
Buck beats him home, already has two beers sitting on the coffee table. Eddie takes his and heads for the bedroom to get dressed for bed, doesn’t have to wait long for Buck to join him. Once he’s more comfortable, he heads back to the living room. Buck and him sit knee to knee, both kicked back on the sofa, enjoying the quiet. The hand Buck’s not using to hold his beer, he’s using it to run along the back of Eddie’s neck, feather-light touches.    
“What did you want to talk about?”    
Eddie takes a drink from his beer, takes another deep breath. “I’m just going to say it all at once, and you can be mad or whatever, but I’m asking you to hear me out. This is,” he blows out a breath before finishing. “This is probably something we should have talked about before getting together, saying I love you and all of that.”    
Buck’s expression tells Eddie he’s puzzled and not sure where the conversation was headed. “I don’t want to get married. Again. I mean, I love you, I really love you, but I just...I don’t want another band on my finger, because with it comes obligations. Being married to Shannon was hard enough and everything that happened. I just can’t. Not again.”    
Buck doesn’t interrupt, just keeps up the steady rhythm of his fingers. Eddie waits needs to know what’s on his boyfriend's mind. Buck leans over, slides the bottle he was holding onto a coaster. Then rights himself taking one of Eddie’s hands. “Maybe we should have talked about this before we got together, huh?”    
Eddie feels his heart sinking, wonders if this is a hard limit for Buck and he’ll walk into the bedroom, pack his shit and leave. It’s going to suck if Eddie just ruined everything since they still have to work together.    
“You know you’re the most important person, well second,” both heads turn towards the mantle and the picture of Buck and Christopher that sits there. “And I love you with everything in me. You two are my world, Eddie. And our friends who are married are happy. That doesn’t mean we have to get married to be happy. When you first start to date someone, you don’t think, “I’m going to marry this person.”    
Eddie mulls that over. “That’s true, yes, but one thing leads to another and all that.”    
Buck rubs his bicep. “Yes, they do. My point is, in every relationship I’ve been in, I didn’t go into it, thinking, “We’re going to get married. We had our fun, they got bored and left me.” He shrugs as if it's not a big deal. Eddie knows though, that those other people, all of them, left huge scars behind. Buck does his best to cover them or not give the empty feelings any space. Eddie also knows it’s hard for Buck to do that sometimes.    
“They were stupid.”    
Buck grins leans over to kiss his cheek. “I love you. My point is, we never got to the point where we had this conversation. It was a maybe someday conversation that never happened. They never bothered to ask my thoughts on it. But you are.”    
Eddie nods and turns more fully to face Buck. “Because I know, this is it. You’re it for me, but if you want to get married, there’s not going to be us in the future.”    
Buck frowns, shakes his head. “Bite your tongue, Eddie. Of course, there’s going to be an us. What none of them bothered to ask me was how I felt about it. The answer is still the same, no matter who I’m with. Being in love, and knowing that other person loves me is enough. If that person is choosing to stay, it’s enough. I’ve got nothing against marriage and I know my sister and my friends are happy in their marriages. I just, never really saw the point. Why do you need a piece of paper and a piece of metal to tell someone you love them, to be with them forever?”    
Eddie feels all the air leave his lungs, and takes a deep breath, still looking at Buck. “You mean that?”    
Buck reaches for his beer again, sips from the bottle. “I do. I don’t need a ring to know my significant other is mine.”    
Eddie readjusts himself on the couch, leans his head on Buck’s shoulder. “I was worried about telling you.”    
Buck wrapped an arm around Eddie’s chest, running his fingers over the spots he touches. “You shouldn’t have been. If there’s an issue, we can talk it out. Like adults.”    
“I really love you.”    
Buck grinned and kissed the top of Eddie’s head. “I know. But it helps to hear it. I love you too.”    
“I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Come Scream at me on Tumblr @Kitkat0723


End file.
